It’s a label (or diagnosis) that people tend to understand more today than ever, yet I still often get asked what the signs of a narcissist are to look out for.
Narcissism is a diagnosable mental health condition, but I would assume that most narcissists make their way through our society undiagnosed. That means they may not be aware that their behaviors may be causing damage to others.
They may also not care that that is what they do.
In my experience, narcissists are often oblivious to the fact that they are the issue. Ironically, they can often be the ones who throw the label around on to others, especially if that person calls them out on what they do.
So, what should we be on the lookout for, especially for those people commencing new relationships?
Amy Brunell, a professor of psychology at Ohio State University, late last year published an article in the journal Cambridge Elements on narcissism.
After studying the condition for more than twenty years, Brunell says these are the primary signs to watch out for:
- People who are particularly charming and likable early in the relationship
- Those who try to “sweep you off your feet” (sometimes known as “love bombing”)
- Displays of core characteristics of entitlement, self-centeredness, and a lack of empathy for others
- Signs of high self-esteem, extraversion, arrogance, and dominance
- A need for constant attention and admiration
- Taking advantage of others
Professor Brunell says it’s important to go into new relationships with your eyes open and beware of any red flags.
“If you’re in a new relationship and you’re getting the vibe that this person is narcissistic, the best thing you can do is get out, but it is hard to do that when they flatter you and pay so much attention to you.
“There are people who are charming and likable who are not narcissists, for sure. But from my experience studying narcissists, I think it is wise to be aware and protect yourself.”
Unfortunately, experts in the field remain somewhat hamstrung in trying to help narcissists see and alter their behavioral patterns.
Brunell says there has been research into the condition that suggests narcissists can change their ways for the better.
“But it remains unknown how long such positive effects last or how it works outside the laboratory. These offer some hope, but we just don’t know yet whether these tactics will work in the real world.
“People encounter narcissists all the time. But we need more research on best practices for interacting with them day-to-day.”
