There are some common themes that you see when counselling both individuals and couples.
Quite often, my clients present with issues that they want to sort out, but they are a bit stuck. Maybe they used to have the answers and strategies, but they’re just not in that space at the moment.
Almost as often, when you really start to get into what’s going on, the issue(s) relate to people not living completely within their values.
What are our values?
Well, our personal values could be described as our moral compass.
Our values help us interact with others, handle different situations, make choices and decisions, and generally guide our behaviours.
Some examples of values could be:
- Honesty
- Discipline
- Kindness
- Fidelity
- Generosity
- Teamwork
- Commitment
When you aren’t exactly sure what your values are, you might be straying outside the lines without being consciously aware.
Or, you might very well know what your values are, but have simply forgotten exactly who you are and what it feels like to be living true to them.
It can be a real lightbulb moment for people when they realize that maybe the way they are treating themselves, or another person is outside their values.
“Open your arms to change but don’t let go of your values.”- Dalai Lama
Generally, if you find someone who isn’t living within their values you will find someone with decreased self-esteem.
I really think identifying what your values are, and then living up to them is crucial to helping you gain internal harmony and happiness.
The benefits that can flow through to your relationships can also be potentially enormous, especially in situations where two people in a relationship weren’t being true to their core being.
As part of the counselling process, I help my clients determine what their values are and work with them to help gain a better understanding of how this might be affecting their lives and relationships.
And we implement strategies that hopefully help you live within your value set.
If you would like more information please feel free to get in touch with me via the Contact page.
