The old saying goes that beauty is only skin deep. I’m also reminded of the lyrics from the Robert Palmer song “Doctor, Doctor” – A pretty face don’t make no pretty heart.
Aside from the physical, what are some of the most attractive traits in a person? Of course, it does vary from person to person, we all have different things that for some reason either turn us on or off.
Some people are drawn more to assertive personality types, and others like more amiable people. Traits like introverted versus extroverted can also affect how attracted one is to another.
There have been many studies into the most attractive qualities of a person, one study from 2007 found that perceptions of physical attractiveness are influenced by personality.
The study involved showing participants photographs of other people and asking them to rate them on physical attractiveness.
The second part of the test revealed the personality traits of the people in the photographs. It was found that both men and women who exhibit positive personality traits, such as honesty and helpfulness, were perceived as better looking.
Those exhibiting negative traits, such as unfairness and rudeness, appeared less physically attractive to observers.
The findings show that a positive personality leads to greater desirability as a friend, which leads to greater desirability as a romantic partner and, ultimately, to being viewed as more physically attractive. – study author Gary W. Lewandowski, Jr.
I sometimes get asked in my Counselling work about the good qualities to look for in a partner and, in my opinion at least, I think there are some real core attributes, behaviours, and values that might be worth looking for.
These are my 15 Attractive Qualities in a Person:
- Safety – Focused on building a safe environment for self and others
- Emotional Maturity – Can look at things both through emotion and reason/logic
- Raw Communication – Can talk to you about what they are experiencing
- Authenticity – There is no mask
- Imperfections – Accepts their own, and other people’s faults and flaws
- Genuine Connections – Someone open to making connections to others
- Effort – Consistently shows up
- Consistency – Don’t throw too many curve balls your way
- Honesty – Consistently tells the truth
- Kindness – Is there for others when needed
- Taking Accountability/Responsibility – Only for what they are accountable/responsible for
- Sincere Apologies – No gameplay in trying to make amends
- Awareness of Self (and others) – Understands the need to be connected to self-experience and interested in the internal experience of others
- Growth Minded – Open to the possibilities of growing through life
- Bravery – Ability or willingness to tackle challenges
Maybe these are traits that you could also better propagate, realize, and release within yourself too?
Please do remember that we are all a product of our environment. Often for a person to be their best self, we need to be trying to build an environment conducive to that person being able to shine.
When this is reciprocated magic can happen.
