As a Relationship Counsellor I can assure you that I will work passionately and diligantly to help you improve your relationship.
The issue often is, however, that I’m not tasked to help improve the relationship, I’m asked (initially at least) to basically try and save it!
Too many couples with all the potential in the World, break up when that relationship could have been saved if they had just acted sooner.
Quite often, relationship counselling happens when one of the two people has completely disengaged.
When this happens, in all honesty, it just makes my job just so much harder.
I liken it a little bit to a hospital. When couples come in and they’re in a bad way, hurt, withdrawn, frustrated, not communicating, angry…this is like the hospital emergency department.
These couples need a response from me which aims to just keeps them together for the next hour, day or week.
As you can likely imagine, this is often a really big challenge in itself because when we’re not safe, when we’re stressed, we make quick emotional decisions.
Beyond this, often, one of the people (or sometimes even both to a degree) are just about completely disengaged from the relationship.
So, I have to try and help this person find a little belief in me, in the process, and in their partner (sometimes a hurdle that just can’t be overcome).
From my perspective, I also haven’t really been able to get to know the people involved, no rapport has been established and I don’t really know the deeper facts of the case.
So, I do what I can to help the relationship that is on lifesupport to survive at least long enough to give me some time to assess what might be going on.
But, while I play catch up, we’re not likely to be really confronting the issues or growing towards a healthy outcome.
That means it’s a longer process, and potentially a larger financial outlay for the couple.
To put that another way, and going back to the hospital analogy, we’re not looking at physio and learning to use our leg again while it’s still bleeding and is at risk of amputation!
So many times I have seen couples like this, and if only they had found a way to reach out for help earlier the relationship may have been able to survive (and improve).
The whole relationship counselling process could have been easier and cheaper.
Please, if you are finding that there are ongoing issues in your relationship, reach out and ask for some help before things get worse.
There is no shortcut, but the sooner we get to work, hopefully the smoother (and potentially quicker and less expensive) the process could be.
And of course, a speedier intervention means you don’t run the risk of your partner completely losing faith, thus, meaning no intervention will work.
If you need some assistance, have some questions, or are looking for some reassurance around your relationship and the particular needs of yourself and your partner, please reach out to me today.
I want to help you.