Things might not be where you want them to be now, but maybe the best is yet to come.
There are a few aspects of this piece that I would like to cover, firstly, it’s not about “change” or “changing” through life (two words that tend to terrify some people), it’s about growing.
Next is proof that we tend to improve with age (like a fine wine), and lastly, the wisdom in aiming for who you want to be at 60.
Your younger years help shape you
Most of my clients are aged between 30 and 50. It’s fair to assume that seeking assistance from a therapist is most likely a sign that not everything in these people’s lives is running as well as they would like, right now.
Sometimes in our sessions, I might mention that today isn’t about seeking perfection, we’re looking instead to grow now and into the coming years (and with growth comes change).
Because it is my belief, that we’re often not able to be our complete selves until we’re about 60.
We need these experiences we’re having today to shape us into who we are meant to be at that important birthday.
Study proves life is about growth over time
These results come from crunching the data across three studies that examined psychological health over 50 years and were published by the American Psychological Association in Psychology and Aging.
It was found that being productive, having good interpersonal relationships, and behaving compassionately toward others are signs we can improve as we age, and we generally do.
The researchers from California State University and the University of California examined the psychological health of 236 participants to understand the life span development of psychological health.
The participants were interviewed at ages 14, 18, 30, 40, 50 and 62 years.
It was found psychological health steadily increased throughout life.
So, take a little pressure off yourself
Who says you need to have it all worked out at 30, 40, or even 50? Cut yourself some slack.
The experiences that you are having, and, maybe they’re not great experiences because you have to learn and grow from them, are helping to shape you.
They are helping you work out who you are, what makes you tick, and the wisdom of knowing what works and doesn’t work for you.
And that’s completely OK.
The important thing is to be open to growth (and with that growth will automatically come change).
Who do you want to be at 60?
We know that we will continue to grow through our 30s, 40s, and 50s, and there will be victories and losses.
Disappointments, frustrations, good times, and rewards will help you grow.
Life experience will give us exactly that, experience. Hopefully lots of perspective too (for example: why did I worry so much about that thing when I was in my 20s?).
Psychologist Dr. Jordan Peterson says there are some good pillars to aim for when we hit the big 6-0.
These include trying to be in good physical health, being financially secure, having a purpose, being a friend and having friends, and cultivating good mental resilience.
So, take the wisdom of your experiences and run with it, embrace the possibilities of your future, and give yourself a bit of breathing room today, maybe you just aren’t meant to have all the answers now.
