I’ve been there, you might have too, or you might be there right now. Where? The bottom rung of the ladder.
For me, although I’ve been close to that really low spot in human experience a couple of times, the period that stands out as being the lowest of the lows was almost a decade ago when my first marriage fell apart.
With two young children to raise (and help shield from the fallout as best as possible), limited personal or financial resources, and a host of my own unresolved emotional traumas, I struggled to function.
I was like a zombie, everything was dark, scary and I felt like I had the weight of the entire world on my chest and shoulders (literally!).
It must have been my turn to experience the place known as ‘Zero’.
As mentioned in another post, Counselling was the tool that got me through. It not only helped me crawl out of Zero, but it also helped set me up for a happier existence and helped boost my ongoing resilience to life’s bigger (and often inevitable) challenges.
What I realize now though is that for people who are at Zero it can be very hard to see a way forward.
You feel like there is no hope, that there is no way of ever putting things right and it is completely normal for people to lose hope at this point.
Obviously, I recommend Counselling. I’ve lived the experience and it did nothing less than save me. Beyond that, and as hard as it may be to understand this when you’re in the dark grips of Zero, it can actually be the best place to start again.
Though you might not want to hear that right now.
I’m not trying to put a positive spin on an extremely difficult, even horrible human experience, nor devalue the depth of what you are experiencing, however, I believe that if you stop and think for a moment, actually all the best things start from Zero.
Think a blank canvas, an open field, or perhaps a construction site.
Ask any car restorer and they will probably tell you the best way to bring an old car back up to it’s best is to pull the whole car apart and work on each piece individually.
A builder would prefer a vacant lot to build a beautiful home, rather than trying to convert an old house. Just think, they can get the land perfectly flat, they can put in all brand new plumbing and wiring and everything is perfectly square, clean and new.
Even the Sydney Opera House, considered one of the finest buildings in the world, was once just a barren construction site (as seen above). Why, before it was lovingly designed and constructed there was just an old bus/tram depot on the site!
And of course, nature loves a cleared space to start the process of regrowth too. A farmer plows through his/her fields each year and this leaves things looking very dark and desolate before the green shoots starting popping up again.
So, while it might feel like you’re stuck, it might feel like you’re empty inside, this terrible time could be the period in your life that allows you to regroup, grow and reach new heights that you might have once felt weren’t possible.
Help is at hand, don’t be afraid to ask for some assistance – most have us are well acquainted with Zero ourselves.
I wish you all the very best for your journey.
